Simon Says…Go Play!

Everybody loves a good game of “Simon Says”. Simon says…do a silly dance! Simon says…spin in a circle as fast as you can! Listen to this episode! Oops – I didn’t say, “Simon says.” However, you should listen to this episode anyway. In the season finale of “Once Upon a Playtime,” we’ll learn how author and motivational speaker Simon Sinek embraced his nerdiness, the difference between supporting play and encouraging play, and how playing make-believe helps kids learn problem-solving skills.

You can follow today’s guest on Instagram here and find out more at www.simonsinek.com.

“Life should be like the Great British Baking Show. It's a competition, but we help each other. They're doing it for the joy of the baking. They're doing it for the joy of play, not for the drive to win.”

Narrator:

Welcome to “Once Upon a Playtime”, a podcast from The Genius of Play for parents and their kids about the serious importance of having fun. Today's story is “Simon Says… Go Play!” – a true tale about how play encourages us to be our most authentic selves.

Simon Sinek:

My name is Simon Sinek.

Narrator:

Isn't Simon a great name? It reminds me of one of my favorite games, Simon Says. How about we play a quick round. Ready? Okay. Simon says, make a silly face. Simon says, stick out your tongue. Now, wiggle your feet. Oh, I didn't say Simon says. Anyway, back to this Simon.

Simon Sinek:

My name is Simon Sinek, and I am an optimist and an author.

Narrator:

An author is someone who writes books, and an optimist is someone who studies eyes. Wait, that's an optometrist! An optimist is someone who is hopeful about the future. Simon is also an inspirational speaker. One of his TED Talks has over 57 million views. That's bigger than the entire population of England! Simon likes to write and talk about leadership strategies, especially business leadership strategies. It's an unusual job, but Simon has always had an unusual life.

Simon Sinek:

My childhood was pretty unique.

Narrator:

Simon's unique childhood began with his one-of-a-kind parents.

Simon Sinek:

My mother's an artist. She's predominantly a figurative painter, but she can do pretty much anything. She's an insane talent.

Narrator:

And Simon's father worked for, what I like to call, big bubblegum.

Simon Sinek:

He was an expat working for a company who made Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum, which is pretty epic, because as kids, I remember dad would bring home a box of Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum. My parents would attempt to hide it on the top shelf in the pantry, which we would have to literally climb the shelves and steal packs of bubblegum. We moved around a lot as kids, because of my dad's job.

Narrator:

Lots of families move when kids are young. Maybe they move to a new street, or a new neighborhood, or even a different state. But Simon's family moved to a different country. And then, they moved to another one, and another one.

Simon Sinek:

We traveled around the world, uh, lived in, on four continents by the age of 10. And so, exposed to very different cultures, from a very young age, very, very different cultures. Europe, Africa, Asia, and the United States, so quite different from each other.

Narrator:

Some people might be sad or scared to go to a strange, new place where everything is different. They'd say, "Moving is too scary. I'd rather stay at home." But not Simon. Simon says, "Moving made my curiosity soar."

Simon Sinek:

And unleash more imagination, because I started to see things that were so unfamiliar and so different. There are so many different people with different points of view. And if you're not curious about them, you're probably going to judge them. And I think curiosity replaces judgment.

Narrator:

Being judgmental is great if you're an actual judge, like a pie eating contest judge, or a wheelbarrow racing judge, or a judge who judges other judges. But being judgmental is not so great if you're an educator.

Simon Sinek:

Teachers made fun of my accent, for example. When I came to America, I had a very English accent. And I was constantly being made fun of. Or the excitement, they made fun of me when I got so excited at 10 years old the first time I saw snow. Remember, I came from Hong Kong and Africa. I'd never seen snow in my entire life. Um, at 10 years old, it started snowing outside the classroom, and I think I jumped out of my chair and ran to the window. That was an object of curiosity for everybody else. (laughs)

Narrator:

Nobody likes being laughed at. But even back then, Simon was an optimist. He saw the silver lining of the situation.

Simon Sinek:

One of the things being an object of curiosity helped me do was to be comfortable with being different.

Narrator:

Being comfortable with yourself is one of the coolest things you can do, and it's also one of the hardest. Some people never become comfortable with themselves. They'd say, "I wish I was normal," but not Simon. Simon says, "I'm glad I am who I am." And who Simon was, was a nerd.

Simon Sinek:

I was, and still am, a nerdy kid. You know, I like nerdy things. The Star Wars characters have a place in my heart. And I'm very drawn to Hans Solo, and I'm very drawn to Boba Fett. You know, they're kind of two sides of the same coin, which is they're very independent.

Narrator:

Being a nerd just means that you really, really like something. You can be a baseball nerd, or a theater nerd, or a math nerd, or an animal nerd. But there's something all nerds have in common – imagination. Maybe you imagine what your favorite sports team would be like if they had different athletes. Maybe you imagine yourself as the star of Les Mis. Either way, nerds let their imaginations play.

Simon Sinek:

I would set up my toys to be a scene that was captured in my head, like all the little toy soldiers were just one scene, as if I was taking a photograph from a movie, a screen capture from a movie. But I never was like, pssh, pssh, where the soldiers were fighting each other. Everything was happening in my imagination always. So, walking down the street sitting in public transportation, I could have a game playing out of my head. And I would have various story lines that I would carry with me years, over years, over years. The clothes that I wore, I could turn into uniforms or whatever it was. Sometimes, I was a character in my games, and sometimes I was an observer. Play anytime, anywhere, with or without toys.

Narrator:

Did you know that imaginative play helps children develop important problem-solving skills? It's true. Imaginative play also helps kids learn how to respond to unfamiliar situations. But despite all these benefits, some parents might have worried about their child playing never ending games of make believe. But not Simon's one-of-a-kind parents. They said, "Let Simon be Simon."

Simon Sinek:

My parents are great, because they let us be who we wanted to be. They recognized that we were our own selves, and they encouraged us to be our own best selves, the best version of ourselves, not trying to be like each other, or not trying to be some ideal, you know, on the outside. Whether it was academics or whether it was the way we played, or sports, or anything, we were encouraged to be and do the things that we liked to do and wanted to do. Throughout my life, I have had friends or people that I've worked with who didn't judge me, but encouraged me and supported me. And I think there's a difference between support and encouragement.

Narrator:

What did Simon say? If you've never thought about the different between support and encouragement, we're in the same boat. But Simon says they're actually quite different.

Simon Sinek:

Support, I think, is table stakes. You know, your friend should support you, your colleague should support you. “Be you, that's really great. I accept you for you who you are." I think that's minimum standard. Encouragement is different.

Narrator:

Support sounds kind of nice. So, what's encouragement?

Simon Sinek:

Encouragement is like egging you on. "Come on, do it. Do it more. Do it. Come on, I'll do it with you. Come on, let's do it. Come on." Support is pretty easy to find. Encouragement is weirdly difficult to find. You know, people who push you to be more yourself, not just accept you for being yourself.

Narrator:

So, if support is like a scoop of ice cream, then encouragement is like a hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top. And Simon's parents served up encouragement sundaes.

Simon Sinek:

My mother gave me her old camera, and taught me how to use a camera, and encouraged me to take pictures. So, I would take my camera on every vacation, do everything. I'd have little photo shoots in the backyard. And, in the early days, my parents would have to, you know, get them developed for me, and all of that stuff. My mom was keen to give me her old camera and see what would happen, and just encourage me to keep taking pictures, I remember that.

Narrator:

Simon is now grown up, and he's pretty successful. When people talk about why they're successful, they might say, "I'm successful because I went to so-and-so school," or, "I'm successful because I know the right people," but not Simon. Simon says, "I'm successful because I played."

Simon Sinek:

It's funny, I've never really thought about it before, but if I think about the life that I live now, it's very much molded by some choices I made when I was eight, nine, and 10 years old.

Narrator:

As a kid, Simon used his big imagination to play make believe. And now, Simon uses his big imagination when he's analyzing leadership strategies.

Simon Sinek:

My imagination plays a role in the work I do today, because that's where it starts. Somebody says to me, "Well, trust is really important." I go, "Well, why is trust important? What does trust even... What does that even mean?" I want to understand the explanation. And not everything's explainable, and so we get to have theories, which I find really fun. And theories are testable. My work was simply to test out, looking for opportunities for it to fail.

Narrator:

As a kid, Simon learned to be comfortable with himself. And as an adult, Simon's self-esteem means he's not afraid to fail, which means he's not afraid to experiment.

Simon Sinek:

I wasn't trying to prove that it was better or smarter. I was looking for opportunities for it to collapse, you know, because I wanted to make a better theory. I think that's one of the reasons the work stands up is because I kept trying to break it myself. But all of this comes from play. It comes from experimentation. When you learn to play, you learn to experiment. And you cannot have innovation or new ideas without experimentation. And inherent in experimentation is failure. And when all we do is push our kids to win, win, win, win, win, they become more afraid of failing, which means they become more afraid of experimenting. They're always going to take the safe road, because that road is more likely to guarantee a result.

Narrator:

As a kid, Simon's parents encouraged him to be himself and pursue his hobbies. As an adult, Simon now encourages his niece and nephew to do the same.

Simon Sinek:

My niece is 12 and my nephew is 10. You know, they're both so different and so unique. And I love spending time with both of them, because I learn something more about them, but more about myself every time I spend time with them. I love to encourage, whatever it is, the thing that they like to do.

Narrator:

When his niece and nephew tell Simon about their favorite things to do, he doesn't say, "That's boring," or, "Here's what I want to do." Simon says, "That's so cool. Can I join too?"

Simon Sinek:

If my nephew likes science fiction, he and I are going to watch, you know, all the Marvel movies together, for example, which we do. My niece likes baking, so we bake together. I try not to push them into the things that I want to do. I try and learn the thing that they want to do. And my niece and I, over COVID, we learned how to do kintsugi, which is the art of repairing broken things with gold and making them more beautiful, after they've been broken, than they were when they were whole. And we did that together.

Narrator:

As for Simon, he gives himself the same encouragement sundaes his parents once gave him.

Simon Sinek:

I like to joke that, you know, I never grew up, my toys just got more expensive. And I just recently bought a life-size figure of Boba Fett. So, I went from a 3-1/2 inch figurine to a 7-1/2 foot figurine. (laughs)

Narrator:

Wow, 7-1/2 feet tall? That's like eight baby Yodas stacked on top of each other. And to think, if Simon's parents hadn't encouraged him like they did, he might not have followed his bliss. And yes, your bliss can be Shaq-size Star Wars models. Your bliss could also be building with Lego, baking silver linings, or dancing and long division, just to name a few. Some people say, "Teach your kids to fit in, and they'll never have to worry about standing out." Simon says, "Nerd out with your kids."

Simon Sinek:

If a parent suspects that their child might be a nerd, (laughs) I mean, find out what they're nerdy about and double down, you know. If they want to go to Comic Con, buy them a costume, you know. If they are into science fiction, show them the classics and everything contemporary. I mean, go back into the annals of science fiction. Don't try and push them into the direction that we want to be in, right? Like it's, it's not our life, it's their life.

Narrator:

Encourage your kids to pursue their interests and encourage them to play. Remember, Simon says, "Play is much more than fun and games."

Simon Sinek:

Not only that, it promotes creativity, promotes cooperation, and it promotes the idea that we are a part of something bigger than myself. And that whatever I'm building now will contribute to whatever we're building as a collective. And it encourages teamwork. So, I think play is more valuable in someone's career and in their ability to find joy in life than parents even realize.

Narrator:

So, if you want to learn self-esteem, teamwork, and problem-solving skills, well, others might say, "Keep your nose to the grindstone," or, "Work hard and be serious," but not Simon. Simon says, "Go play!"

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