A Recipe For Silver Linings

The recipe for silver linings is a bit tricky. You can’t buy the ingredients at the grocery store. In fact, you can’t buy the ingredients at all. The ingredients for a silver lining are free, but it takes a long time to gather each one. Melissa Ben-Ishay is the CEO and co-founder of Baked by Melissa, a company specializing in delicious, bite-size stuffed cupcakes. In this episode of “Once Upon a Playtime,” we’ll learn about how Melissa became a boss baker, why playtime with family can give children a developmental edge, and how playing with arts and crafts translates into important adult skills.

“If everyone felt love, and confidence, and encouragement to be the person that they are, the world would be a better place.”

Narrator:

Welcome to "Once Upon a Playtime", a podcast from The Genius of Play for parents and their kids about the serious importance of having fun. Today's story is “A Recipe For Silver Linings”, a true tale about how play gives us the ingredients for a positive mindset.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

My name is Melissa Ben-Ishay. I'm co-founder and CEO of Baked by Melissa.

Narrator:

Is there anything more fun than baking? Cracking the eggs, sprinkling in the chocolate chips, pouring the melted butter, licking the spatula when nobody's looking. People bake delicious things all over the world. The United States is known for its sweet apple pies, one of China's specialties is egg tarts with creamy fillings, and France is famous for epic pastry towers called croque-en-bouche that take over nine hours to make from scratch. But every single baked good in the world has something in common. They all have a recipe.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

Baked by Melissa makes bite-size stuffed cupcakes in a variety of flavors that make people happy and bring you back to your childhood.

Narrator:

Melissa knows her cupcake recipes inside and out. She has recipes for chocolate cupcakes, vanilla cupcakes, red velvet cupcakes, even cookie dough cupcakes. But Melissa has a secret recipe that's not for cupcakes at all. It's the recipe for silver linings.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

You know, I have this unique ability to take good and enjoy every circumstance, for the most part.

Narrator:

The recipe for silver linings is a bit tricky. You can't buy the ingredients at the grocery store. In fact, you can't buy the ingredients at all. The ingredients for silver linings are free, but it takes a long time to gather each one. Melissa began collecting her ingredients the day she was born. She was born in a far away land called New Jersey, a magical place where no one pumps their own gas, and there's a diner on every corner. It was a wonderful place to grow up. And Melissa was extra lucky because she got to grow up with a fantastic family, a mom, a dad, and an older brother named Brian.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

My mom always tells me about how on the way home from the hospital, after I was born, my three-year-old brother was pointing out the window and telling me, "Look, Melissa, that's a tree, and that's a house."

Narrator:

Even though she was too little to remember it, on that car ride home from the hospital, Melissa got her first ingredient for a silver lining: one cup of chocolate chips. Wait, no, that's not right. I meant one cup of kinship. Kinship is like friendship, but between siblings. It's one of the stickiest, but sweetest ingredients there is.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

I loved my family. I was a little sister to a T. I followed my brother everywhere he went. When he had friends over, I just wanted to play with them.

Narrator:

When they aren't going at it like it's WWE, siblings are actually really great for each other. Older siblings make excellent teachers. That's why 60% of younger siblings learn to walk earlier than their older brothers and sisters, and younger siblings can help their older siblings develop empathy. And middle children, well, in the words of Hannah Montana, middle children mix it all together and get the best of both worlds. Melissa grew up in the eighties, a time when kids rode their bikes everywhere and fought Demagorgons from the upside down ... Wait, no, that's not right. That's Stranger Things. But the eighties were a different time for kids and for their parents.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

They weren't helicopter parents by any sense. They were definitely the opposite. And I think in the eighties, when we were growing up, that was much more typical. If I was bored, my mom would say, "Go outside and play." We lived in a neighborhood in the suburbs where every other house had children, and we played outside, and rode bikes, and created forts when it snowed, and forts when it rained. And we were just running around the neighborhood, enjoying life.

Narrator:

Unstructured play lets children explore the world on their own terms without adult supervision. It helps grow things like self-esteem, self-discipline, and self-determination. Melissa grabbed an armful of each of these and ground them all together to make the next ingredient for a silver lining: two drops of confidence.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

Yeah, I was a bossy kid at times. And to me, that means I was a leader. I just know who I am, and I know how I think things should be sometimes.

Narrator:

And to help that confidence rise, her father sprinkled in the next ingredient: a pinch of positive affirmations.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

My dad used to drive me to school, grade school, every morning, and give me the same speech every single day. "You're smart. You're capable. The world is your oyster, and you could do anything you set your mind to." And I used to roll my eyes, and repeat it with him, or mock him. But without question, it made me who I am today. It gave me a certain level of confidence.

Narrator:

Melissa's confidence grew and grew. When she wasn't playing with her brother or other children, she started to find new ways to express herself through play.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

I always loved a great arts and crafts project, and even building with clay, or blocks, or painting. Really, the ability to create something that was unique to who I was, was my favorite thing to do.

Narrator:

And when kids play with arts and crafts, it strengthens their fine motor control and their imagination. It also helped Melissa find her next ingredient for a silver lining: a splash of creativity.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

I had these color pens, they were called color pens, and Mr. Sketch markers, actually. I just loved them so much, the bright colors, the way they allow you to create whatever you can imagine.

Narrator:

Melissa loved to play with arts and crafts. She loved to play with her brother. But she also loved to play with her parents. Together, Melissa and her parents always found the fun in everyday activities like baking.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

I used to bake with my parents all the time.

Narrator:

Melissa's parents included her in every step of baking, and in doing so, they gave her the final ingredient for a silver lining: a dash of capability.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

They let me crack the eggs into the mixer when I was way too young to do it, for sure. But that's also how I learned how to do it. I'm constantly asked today if I had an Easy Bake Oven. No, I didn't have an Easy Bake Oven. I had a real oven. And I think that encouragement and the allowance to be independent at a young age, and explore and experience new things was such a big part of my childhood.

Narrator:

To Melissa's parents, and anyone who has ever let a child help them bake, you deserve one of Paul Hollywood's coveted handshakes. And if you don't get that particular pop culture reference because the only show on your TV these days is Sesame Street, that's okay. You'll binge the Great British Bake Off after they graduate. But back to Melissa's journey. She had all the ingredients she needed except for one. To bake a silver lining, you need to have a starter, a sour situation. Luckily, adulthood has plenty of those to go around. You see, Melissa had a job as an assistant media planner where the days felt long and there wasn't much room for play.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

And I did not like my job. I was not passionate about my job. I didn't know what I needed to do to succeed at my job. So we all know that's a recipe for failure.

Narrator:

Like I said, Melissa knows her recipes.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

I was called to HR on the loud speaker and they fired me. I thought I was actually getting a promotion. I was so unaware.

Narrator:

Getting fired can be more than sour. It can be like a thousand Warhead candies in your mouth all at once. But Melissa stayed calm. It took her a long time to gather her ingredients, but now that she had them, she realized the recipe for silver linings is really quite simple. In a bowl, Melissa mixed her sour situation with a splash of creativity and a dash of capability.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

I started baking my tie dye cupcakes when I was working in advertising. I was baking my tie dye cupcakes for everyone and anyone. It was something I was known for already.

Narrator:

Melissa's colorful idea had been rising for a long, long time. Remember those markers she loved so much as a kid?

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

I think those markers are absolutely a contributing factor to my love for tie dye. I think it's free spirited. It's bright, it's colorful. It brings you back to a time in history that empowered people to stand up for what they believe in, and to do what they believe is right, to act with peace, to love others. And therefore, I love tie dye.

Narrator:

Then Melissa poured in the next ingredient, a cup of sticky, sweet kinship from her brother.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

After I was fired from my job, I picked up my phone and I called my brother, my best friend. And without even hesitating for a second, "It's the best thing that ever happened to you. Go home, bake your cupcakes. We'll start a business together," because he believed in me.

Narrator:

Next, Melissa folded in two drops of confidence and sprinkled in a pinch of positive affirmations.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

He's the one who insisted that the company be called Baked by Melissa. I wanted the company to be called Baked. He said, "It's you. Nobody's going to know who you are unless it's called Baked by Melissa." But yeah, it's my big bro, my big brother's love for his little sister that created Baked by Melissa, and my parents' encouragement of our play, truly.

Narrator:

Melissa whisked all her ingredients together until she saw shining streaks starting to form in the bowl. She poured the batter into a cupcake tin, and then popped the tin into the oven. She baked for 15 minutes, and voila. Melissa had made a silver lining, her very own company. Baked by Melissa became a massive success. People come from far and wide to try Melissa's tiny tie dye cupcakes, and her family was there to help keep up with the demand.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

My parents were our first employees. My mom would come and assemble bakery boxes. My dad did everything from fix the broken heater in our retail locations, to run cupcakes up the stairs in our little booth that we sold cupcakes out of in Soho. They did everything and anything they could. They came and they baked with me one Black Friday when we ran out of cupcakes, and at 11:00 PM, we were in the kitchen baking cupcakes so we would have something to sell the next day.

Narrator:

Melissa loves being CEO at Baked by Melissa. She found a way to combine work with play.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

So I'll be the first one to tell you that what I do for a living, creating these bite-size cupcakes that make people happy, it's like arts and crafts, but even better because I get to eat my project.

Narrator:

The ingredients for silver linings never spoil, which means Melissa can bake a silver lining whenever she needs to. When the pandemic hit, a lot of people baked sourdough bread, and Melissa, well, Melissa made sourdough bread, too, but she also baked another silver lining.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

We couldn't celebrate Rosh Hashanah with our whole family, which sucked, right? It sucked. First Rosh Hashanah in COVID, we decided to go apple picking. What a great way to celebrate the Jewish new year and this life and growth.

Narrator:

Melissa has two daughters of her own, and sometimes all three of them bake together. Melissa lets them crack the eggs, sprinkle in the chocolate chips, and pour in the melted butter. And sometimes on very special occasions, she even lets them lick the spatula. Melissa plans to teach her daughters all sorts of recipes for yummy things like tie-dye cupcakes. But first, she's making sure that they too discover all the ingredients for silver linings through play.

Melissa Ben-Ishay:

My older one would build a castle out of Magna-Tiles, and the little one would just run at it head first and knock it down. And my older ... her whole body, she's so upset, and she has every right to be upset. That's annoying. It is. I totally get it. You are right to be frustrated. At the end of the day, these things are going to continue to happen to you in your life. And so then she'll build it back up. I'll encourage her to build a new one. And then I'll verbally ... I'll say, "And look at how much cooler this one is. If Lenny didn't knock it down, you would have never known that you could build a Magna-Tile castle this big." Life is hard. Your tower's going to get knocked down, and it's not getting any easier, so ... But you build it again, and it's even better than it was before.

Narrator:

“Once Upon a Playtime” is a production of The Genius of Play made in partnership with Frequency Media. This podcast was made possible by a generous grant from The Toy Foundation. Visit thegeniusofplay.org for fun play ideas, resources, and expert advice. Follow us @Genius of Play on Facebook and Instagram for daily inspiration and tips. I'm your host, Jennifer Lynch. Michelle Khouri is our executive producer. Heidi Roodvoets is our producer. Scripting by Isabelle Moncloa Daly, Becca Godwin, and Jessica Olivier. Dialogue editing by Sidney Evans, and sound designed by Matthew Earnest Filler. This podcast is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and wherever podcasts are found.

• Print
• |
• Share